Category Archives: writing

Hola de Costa Rica! / Conscious Creativity

Leave a reply
Costa Rica - Hillside Sunset

Amazing smokey purple-pink magic sunset I captured from my balcony in Costa Rica.

¡Hola a todos!

As I’m sure you’ve figured out from the title of this post… I’m in Costa Rica!!

Here’s what I’ve been up to over the past six weeks:

  • Switched web hosts
    (Which took longer than expected,
    and sadly bumped me out of the habit of blogging as often as I’d prefer)
  • Attended “Anarchapulco”
  • Experienced Turista for way too long
  • Attended Sasha’s Direct Dating “Relationship Mastery” Summit
    (Steve was one of the speakers)
  • Met new people and made some new friends
  • Walked in the waters of the Acapulco Bay
  • Took in many beautiful sunsets over the Acapulco Bay
  • Was bitten by way too many mosquitoes
  • Rode in one of the public buses in Acapulco — a very unique experience!
  • Went to the Acapulco Historical Museum
  • Visited the cliffs in Acapulco where the cliff divers dive
  • Enjoyed a lot of delicious green juice and vegan food
  • Played games with friends  — Carcassonne, Spades, and Asshole.
    (Getting to be an undefeated President is fun!)
  • Relaxed
  • Said bye to my sweetheart — I hate goodbyes 🙁
  • Witnessed one of the most epic thunderstorms I’ve ever seen!
  • Watched a building get struck by lightning
  • Flew from Acapulco to Mexico City
  • Felt pretty ill during and after the flight — such massive turbulence! 😛
  • Flew from Mexico City to San José, Costa Rica
  • Used Uber a bunch for the first time on my own. It Rocks!
  • Spent time hanging out in San José
  • Had my most expensive Starbucks latte ever
    (And that’s with free soy milk and a 10% discount for Gold Card members!)
  • Discovered that $an Jo$é is the 2nd most expensive city in Central America
  • Met up with a friend I hadn’t seen in years
  • Made a new friend via Airbnb
  • Visited the Costa Rican Art Gallery
  • Walked around in a park
  • Watched the new season of House of Cards
  • Traveled to San Isidro de El General
  • Moved into a little apartment that will be my home for about a month
  • Got freaked out by giant cockroaches
  • Was startled by loud geckos
  • Made friends with the geckos
  • Drank fresh green smoothies and ate vegan burritos
  • Got bit by more mosquitos
  • Was followed home by a random stray dog
  • Enjoying the beautiful view from my balcony
  • Witnessed the most magical hillside sunset ever
    (As pictured at the beginning of this post)
  • Attended a gathering where I got meet and learn about indigenous peoples of the area
  • Getting grossed out and paranoid about eating oranges after discovering well over a dozen little worms in one of the oranges I had sliced up and was about to eat.
  • Exercised a little bravery and decided to start eating oranges again after not eating them for a few days.
  • Making a lot simple and relatively inexpensive vegan meals
    (Quinoa and nuts are SO expensive here!)
  • Reading some Eckhart Tolle
  • Pondering too many things
  • Studying Spanish
  • And, finally, blogging and writing again!
  • Addendum: I’d like to add getting the bejesus scared out of me by the largest bug I’ve seen in my life flying into my living room through an open balcony door. (Screened doors and windows don’t seem to be a thing here. I have no idea why.) Seriously, it could have been mistaken for a small bird or bat. It was big, dark, and ugly. I think perhaps it was a cicada. This thing was so big and loud I could hear it bumping into things and flopping around behind my closed bedroom door, where I temporarily hid myself hoping this giant bug would eventually leave on its own. I think it did. Before it did, it was even scratching at the door for a while, as if it wanted to get in. WTF?
    …Weird shit like this happens to me all the time, I swear.

So many different types of things have been happening over the past six weeks, it seems too much to cover in detail in one blog post… hence, the above list! 🙂

If anyone happens to have any questions about any of the above, please feel free to ask in the comments, and I’ll be sure to respond. 🙂

Conscious Creativity and Being a Conscious Creator

It’s hard to believe I’ve been here in Costa Rica for three weeks already. I’ve been taking it pretty easy. But in another sense, I’ve been a bit hard on myself, as I’ve been tormenting myself thinking obsessively about the future — My career path, life in general, and specifically regarding figuring out where to stay next; I want to stay somewhere that isn’t too pricey nor too isolated, yet someplace that also meets my needs for comfort and happiness, such as a pedestrian friendly and lively area, vegan friendly cafés and restaurants nearby, a cozy room or apartment that feels like someplace I can truly call home, and friendly people that I can converse and hang out with and relate to. I’m pretty sure I found the perfect spot for me, and I’m excited to temporarily live there (back in San José) for more than a month after the end of my current month’s lease for the budget apartment where I’m currently staying in Pérez Zeledón / San Isidro de El General.

As mentioned above, I’ve also been  tormenting myself trying to figure out “my life”. Despite having spent three weeks on my own here in Costa Rica, I still feel as though I haven’t quite figured anything out. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate — I think I’ve figured out one of my biggest hinderance, which is definitely a good step in the right direction.

It’s become somewhat of an ingrained habit of mine to perpetually think/live in the future; continually planning out when and where and what I’ll be doing when I’m not visiting or traveling with the love of my life, wanting to nail down when exactly we’ll get to be together again, and so on. This mental habit had already been a part of my life long before Steve and I ever got together, based on the contract-nature of theatre work, not to mention other aspects of youth that reinforced this particular pattern. That is to say, I’m rather used to it. But seeing as I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over six years now, this habit has become even more ingrained than before.

What it boils down to is this: When I have time to work on projects I’ve been wanting to work on, I’m compelled to put them on the back burner while I instead obsess my focus on determining my plans for the future, which more often than not results in ignoring the here and now and thus getting much of nothing done — save for possibly figuring out and making travel plans, like booking flights and accommodations. These little things give me a little sense of security in my very “up in the air” lifestyle.

It’s becoming obvious to me this habit gives rise to a mind that doesn’t know what to do with itself when it’s not attempting to focus on the future — or, in other words, when it’s focusing on anything but the here and now in the present. It can be hard for me to focus on the present moment because I may start feeling anxious over my lack of future-focused thought.

I know, this is kind of messed up! I know that if I want to live the life of a conscious creator, I must drastically change my predominant thought patterns and mental habits; if I keep doing what I’ve been doing, I know I’m just going to keep getting more of what I’ve already been getting! Can I have a habit and thought pattern interrupt, please?

What are the best methods of pattern interruption that will give rise to a thorough focus on the present moment of a creative task? I’m still trying to figure out the best approach for pattern interruption, but so far I’ve come up with a few simple tactics that lend a helping hand:

  • Meditate: Focus on your breath, heighten your awareness, and still the mind. Focus on simply existing in the present moment. Stay in that place of presence until its beautiful and wondrous nature fill you with joy and power. Now you have your fuel for your creative endeavor.
  • Get busy: This can be doing anything active, like cleaning, making your bed, doing laundry, making a meal. While going through the actions of these activities, try to silence the mental chatter going on in your head and instead silently focus on the task at hand. It will be a lot easier to go from the conscious-chore-action to conscious-creative-action vs unconscious-mental-chatter-inaction to conscious-creative-action.
  • Exercise: This is similar to the above suggestion, but in addition the keeping the flow of action and momentum going, the increased oxygen in your blood supply will provide added mental energy, enabling you to focus more on the present moment and your creative task at hand.

I plan on putting these practices to use over the coming weeks. I think it’s working, because it helped me to focus on writing this very blog post. (I started it at least a week earlier but then felt too mentally-cluttered to focus on finishing it.) Focusing on the present moment instead of trying to figure out “my life” and “the future” definitely helps.

For now, I still don’t feel like I have my life figured out quite yet, and I still have a lot of uncertainty as to what my future might be. But that’s okay. I think it’s better to live and create in the power of the present moment vs being stuck in my head all day wondering what the hell I should be doing my life. 😉

…And so, at least for now, that’s what I’m going to do — focus on conscious creation in the flow of the eternal now.  Let’s see where I end up!

Pura Vida!

xox

A Year In The Life of Me

Leave a reply

earth and sunIt’ll be my birthday in a couple weeks. I’ll soon be labeled to exist on that cusp between mid and late thirties.

There’s a lot of prejudice that comes with age. For teens, the prejudice is that you’re reckless, possibly stupid (at least to some degree), stubborn, rebellious, and anti-authoritarian. When you’re in your twenties, the general prejudice says that you’re inexperienced but learning and exploring (and therefore gaining new experiences), and that you’re also probably foolish due to this lack of experience. We tend to prejudge those in their thirties as being in a stage of settling down, pursuing a more grounded and practical life while investing in contribution towards one’s community, finding a long-term relationship partner, getting married (if you haven’t already done so in your twenties), having and raising children, etc. During one’s forties, one focuses on career, family, financial security, and the accumulation of various assets, all of which may spill over into one’s fifties as well. And then, before you know it, it’s time to wrap up your career-life and retire, finally giving yourself time and permission to pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do, like travel and write and who knows what else.

I don’t often like to readily share my age because I tend to defy the prejudice (and expectations) that so often comes along with the number. And although I realize that there may indeed be some amount of truth to the prejudices that are so oft associated with an age, in reality, it is really nothing more than a number announcing that you’ve existed as an individual being (vs that of a parasitic being in the womb) for x revolutions on a planet-rock orbiting around a particular G-type star that we vernacularly call The Sun.

To mark my birthday and the subsequent passage of time, as well as to create some sort of meaning, mission and purpose in my life, I’m considering taking upon an interesting project that I thought up just earlier this week: Chronicling a year in the life of me — from one birthday to the next — in the form of semi-weekly (or at least weekly) memoirs of sorts. I was thinking I would post some or all of these memoirs here to my blog, with the larger possibility of a book to edit and publish at the end of the year-long project. (We shall see. It depends if the over-arching theme of my journaling over the course of the year has any value worthy of becoming a book.)

I’m hoping to discover some elegance and patterns in the chaos that is life, and I’d be delighted if I can create some positive ripples in the world as well.

I suppose I have multiple reasons for doing such a project, but I think my main impetus is simply that of sharing, self-expression, and — hopefully — connection. I’ve realized that I often feel pretty lonely in this world, as I have very few friends with whom I relate to and feel a true bond. I’m guessing this is probably mainly to do with the fact that I simply don’t fall into the prejudices and pigeonholes I’m generally expected to fit into.

I’d like to see if I can perhaps identify and develop valued and deep connections with others if I were to openly write about my thoughts and life while consistently sharing it with the world. I’m really curious to see what kind of an impact such a project might have on my life. I have a feeling that doing so might very well take my life on a whole new path.

…What about you? What sorts of projects or decisions have you implemented that have taken your life to a whole new level? <3

 

October 18, 2016 — Edit to add:  I haven’t kept up with this idea of chronicling a year in the life of me (surprise surprise), yet it’s still an idea I feel has some merit and it still seems like something I’d like to do. As such, I may take upon a different (yet in some ways similar) daily chronicling project starting sometime in the near future… Perhaps beginning January 1st, 2017! Stay tuned!