{"id":400,"date":"2011-02-01T09:06:15","date_gmt":"2011-02-01T15:06:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/?p=400"},"modified":"2011-02-01T21:17:30","modified_gmt":"2011-02-02T03:17:30","slug":"star-woes-a-new-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/creative-inspiration\/2011\/02\/star-woes-a-new-hope\/","title":{"rendered":"Star Woes: A New Hope?"},"content":{"rendered":"

“The greatest enemy of progress is not stagnation, but false progress.”<\/em> ~ Sydney J. Harris<\/p>\n

“He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.”<\/em> ~William Blake<\/p>\n

\u201cThe thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.\u201d<\/em> ~ Anna Quindlen<\/p>\n

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Do you feel stuck and stagnant?\u00a0 Uncertain about which direction you should move in? Do you feel plagued with a pressing need to make up your mind, make a decision, and take action — while simultaneously wanting<\/em> to do so — yet despite this, feel increasingly reluctant to take action?\u00a0 Are you worried about making a wrong decision?<\/p>\n

I know I am.\u00a0 That’s probably why I haven’t written a new entry for the past couple of months.<\/p>\n

Sure, I started a few articles here and there, but you’d never know it as I never finished them or published them.\u00a0 …Why?<\/p>\n

I’m not 100% certain, although I can say this: I believe it largely has to do with my feeling uncertain about the direction I’m heading in and the path I’m taking, and, ultimately, the best direction to go from here.
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Second<\/h3>\n

When I was 8 and in the second grade, I first started making up wacky stories, but I mostly liked to color and draw.<\/p>\n

When I was 9 I wanted to be a pianist, composer, and orchestral conductor.<\/p>\n

When I was 10 I still wanted to be those things, and a writer to boot.<\/p>\n

When I was 11 I wanted to be all of the above AND an astronaut.<\/p>\n

Later, I also wanted to be an astrophysicist and cosmologist.<\/p>\n

And later still, I dreamed of acting and being on stage and in film, and directing stage and film, too.<\/p>\n

Throughout the course of my high school career, leading to graduation, I had (and still have) interest and potential in so many subjects: math, sciences, music, writing.<\/p>\n

When I graduated high school and had to decide what to take in University, I was still pretty damn clueless as to what I wanted to “be”.\u00a0 It seemed to be the most important decision of my entire life — one that would affect and dictate the outcome of my impending and ultimate future.<\/p>\n

Having a streak of perfectionism certainly didn’t make the decision-making processes any easier.\u00a0 It meant it was imperative that I make the most right, true, and “perfect” decision possible.\u00a0 That’s what it felt like, anyway.<\/p>\n

I didn’t know how to decide.\u00a0 And so… I didn’t.\u00a0 In my first year of studies, I decided to take a variety of courses in a variety of subjects:\u00a0 Calculus, Theatre, Philosophy, World Religions, and Astronomy.
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Star<\/h3>\n

I loved all my classes, yet noted there was something about the expressive nature of theatre that really drew me in.\u00a0 And when I say theatre, I’m not just referring to acting; I mean theatre in its entirety.\u00a0 I was drawn to act and to direct, I loved designing sets and lighting and costumes, working with props, stage management, script analysis and playwriting — you name it.<\/p>\n

I’m currently at a point in my life where I feel uncertain about continuing my theatre career.\u00a0 The fact of the matter is that, aside from my own self-produced plays and productions, my experience in theatre is somewhat limited; to make matters worse, I have a tendency to absolutely bomb auditions…\u00a0 And when I say bomb, we’re talking nuclear-meltdown-disaster here.\u00a0 (Stars are nuclear furnaces, after all.)\u00a0 Seriously.\u00a0 Sometimes I make such an amateur ass out of myself in the audition process that one might conclude I had the skill level of some high-school drama wannabe. It really is that embarrassing…\u00a0 at least some of the time, if not most of the time.<\/p>\n

Pertaining to the above: my skill and ability to act or perform is not the issue (per se); but rather, my auditioning skills (and hence, the ability to convey my performance aptitude in an audition) are virtually non-existent.\u00a0 It’s akin to being quite skilled and capable for a particular job, but when it comes to the job interview, the idiot-hormones kick in and you end up portraying yourself as a bumbling idiot and completely inept newb.<\/p>\n

Aside from my issues with auditions, there are a number of other aspects that go along with a career in theatre that I feel uncertain about.\u00a0 Without going into too much detail, some of these aspects include: having a sporadic (and unreliable) source of income (as per show\/gig), being dependent on being hired\/casted in a production, and, having a lack of an overall arching vision or long-term career goal. (…Aside from that long-term goal of building one’s resume.\u00a0 But to what end?)<\/p>\n

I *do* believe I can make a living from acting if I choose to be more focused and disciplined about the craft that is theatre and acting.\u00a0 And yet, having so many other interests, dreams, and aspirations — am I to sacrifice these other aspirations in the name of persistence in a career that I *might* succeed in, given more time?\u00a0 I don’t know.\u00a0 It’s already been the greater part of a decade, and although I recognize I have made some progress, I feel as though most of it falls under the category of false progress.<\/p>\n

At this point, I’m not committing to the idea of changing careers and giving up theatre.\u00a0 I’d like to keep my options open.\u00a0 And yet, in the meantime, and until I drastically improve my audition skills, I am left in a situation where I do not have an income in my current career unless I am actively producing and performing something of my own creation — and even *that* does not guarantee me an income.
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To The Right<\/h3>\n

I was drawn to theatre for many reasons, but I believe I was mainly lured into acting because it served as a means for me to grow as a person and become more comfortable with myself.\u00a0 I was once extremely<\/em> shy, yet yearned to be known.\u00a0 As acting is essentially a method of sharing oneself in a creative and meaningful way, it’s no wonder I grew towards such a path that would teach me so many lessons that I yearned to experience and learn.<\/p>\n

I still have a strong desire to share myself with the world.\u00a0 Theatre and acting has, without a doubt, helped me to open up and share my most inner self with an audience.\u00a0 I also, however, possess the desire to share myself with an audience on a global scale, and this cannot be done so easily in the communal realm of theatre.\u00a0 …It is, perhaps, something more achievable in the realm of movies and film.<\/p>\n

On top of all of this, I also have strong interests in creating an environmental movement that will have global impact, in addition to having a natural skill, talent, and passion for creating vegan and raw cuisine.\u00a0 I can potentially go in either direction.\u00a0 It is simply a matter of making a decision and taking action.\u00a0 However, due to my perfectionist tendencies, I can be *very* indecisive…
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Straight On<\/h3>\n

But, in short:\u00a0 I want to be a Star.\u00a0 That is my wish, my hope, and my desire.<\/p>\n

I do not long to be a Star for the simplicity of fame; although, who on this Earth does not know of the Stars in our sky?<\/p>\n

I do not long to be a Star because wealth and fortune is oft associated with Stardom; although, I certainly would enjoy and appreciate a lifestyle of abundance.<\/p>\n

I long to be a Great Star, such as is our Sun, because the Light of such a Star shines so brightly that it cannot help but touch and warm everyone and everything that looks upon this Star with its Light, Life, and Hope.<\/p>\n

It is for this reason I long to be a Star.
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Till Morning<\/h3>\n

I feel as though I’ve babbled on for long enough.\u00a0 I realize this blog post may not provide much objective value to others, as it’s more of a personal “this-is-where-I’m-at” and “here’s-what-I’ve-been-thinking” type of entry.\u00a0 And yet, perchance, you, random-reader, may find value in my personal journey as it relates to your own.\u00a0 Or, perhaps not.\u00a0 Either way…\u00a0 Here it is.<\/p>\n

Over the next day or two, I will be making some decisions and *drumroll* ….\u00a0 implementing actions<\/em> (Gasp!\u00a0 Shock!), and, from time to time, I’ll be sharing my journey along the way.\u00a0 It’s my hope that my efforts with my own creative journey will help you to better understand your present and intended coordinates in your life-journey, too.<\/p>\n

Speaking of life-journeys, I thought I’d do a quick little shout-out that I also intend to share insights on what I have learned from the worlds of stage and performance and how such theatrical insights can be applied to the realm of personal growth, being, and development. It’s actually pretty damn cool.\u00a0 So stay tuned!<\/p>\n

In the meantime…<\/p>\n

Good journey to us All.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“The greatest enemy of progress is not stagnation, but false progress.” ~ Sydney J. Harris “He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star.” ~William Blake \u201cThe thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.\u201d ~ Anna Quindlen Do you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,3,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/400"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=400"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/400\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rachellefordyce.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}