Category Archives: Film

When Goals Become Jails (And What to Do About It)


When Goals Become Jails (And What to Do About It) – by Rachelle Fordyce … [Photo by Isaac Smith]

Something interesting that I’ve noticed about the word goal is that it’s an anagram of gaol, an alternate spelling of jail. Sometimes I feel like publicly setting a goal is a sort of sentence for myself, as though I’m putting my self in a restrictive box or jail. This is probably because I highly value freedom and flexibility.

Reminder (to self and others): It’s okay to flow with life and change your goals if it seems best to do so or if you have reasons to do so; or even it you don’t have a “logical” reason per se and it just no longer feels in alignment with you. Sometimes, goal-setting and accountability can be a tricky path to navigate.

Have you ever thought something along these lines? “Is this goal no longer in alignment for me? Or am I just being a flake? I don’t want others to think I’m a flake and that can’t stick to my goals and commitments. Hmm. Maybe I should just keep quiet and hope no one notices or judges me or whatnot.” I know I certainly have. We’ve probably all been there at some point or another.

So to that, I say (to myself and others): Don’t worry about it! Your true friends are not going to think anything less of you if your win is “small” or not as grand as you might’ve initially hoped. Celebrate all wins, large and small! There’s no such thing as failure when you reframe it in a growth-oriented way; only lessons and wins.

The key to successful or meaningful accountability is empathy – for both others and ourselves.

I had a particularly busy July, and as such I didn’t have as much time to keep up with my preferred weekly blog posts. But that’s okay! I empathize with my situation, and I’m picking up the challenge again. I would love to publish 11 more blog posts after this one by the end of October 2019.

[EDIT: Many of us participating in this blogging challenge have decided to be more flexible with the end date. As such, I’m changing up my end-goal date to wrap up this challenge by the end of December 2019 vs the end of October as previously stated above.]

Oh, and on the subjects of goals, jails, expectations, delays, flexibility, empathy, and so forth… Remember that long-time goal I’ve had of writing a screenplay? Well, it’s still a goal of mine! I have consciously put it off for a while as I continue to work on a rather large editing project that’s the equivalent length of three books. BUT! The end of that project is finally in sight!

About a week ago, I participated in a brief Mastermind session which resulted in my commitment to complete at least the first draft of a full-length screenplay (although preferably it will be a more complete version or further revised draft) by January 22, 2020. I’ve even marked it on my calendar that I will start working on this screenplay no later than the 1st week of October. Even if I only write 10 pages a week during the last 12 weeks of this year, I will – finally – complete my goal of writing the first-draft of a full-length screenplay! How awesome is that!?

* * *

Have you ever felt trapped by a goal or commitment you’ve made in the past? If so, have you been able to express empathy for yourself and free yourself from such a goal or commitment? Perhaps that goal no longer served your best interest at the time, or the timing was no longer aligned with the rest of your life. It’s okay. Forgive yourself and carry on, head held high.

If you spend too much time mourning your original strategy or path, rather than redirecting to the destination or the goal (i.e. your desired results), you’re going to find yourself repeatedly sidelined, if not completely stuck. Life is always going to present obstacles. What separates leaders from the rest is how you strategize and implement your reroute, no matter how many times you have to do it. <3

Finding Balance: Creative Life, Writing, Art, Vision & Focus

Okay, so…

In my last post, I announced an ambitious creative goal to write the first draft of a full-length screenplay in a week.

When I made that goal, it was under certain presumed circumstances, mainly being that my boyfriend/partner (whatever word one would use for a longterm non-married couple… “boyfriend” seems so flippant, whereas “partner” sounds like a business agreement) was simultaneously going to be very busy and consumed in his own creative/business project, thus being the perfect time for me to be absorbed and consumed by my own creative endeavor.

But! (There’s always a but…) His plans changed. And thus, so did mine.

For anyone reading my humble little blog who doesn’t already know me or my partner in some way, let me fill you in. We’ve been together for (at the time of this writing) just over eight years now. Woo hoo! It’s been a fun and crazy ride. 🙂

…BUT! (…there it is again…) All this time we’ve been in a long distance relationship. Why? Well, I’m Canadian and he’s American. He doesn’t have a desire to move to Canada since he owns a nice house in the U.S., and right now the only viable way for me to move to the U.S. is if we were to get married.

I find the differences between Canadian and American laws in this regard to be rather fascinating. If he were to move to Canada as my partner, Canadian law doesn’t demand that we get married as it recognizes the validity of longterm conjugal relationships of at least two years. American law, on the other hand, only recognizes a marriage certificate.

“So why not just get married?” Ugh, marriage. I don’t think marriage is inherently bad or anything like that. I think a marriage has the potential to be a great thing, depending on those involved and their reasons for choosing to marry, etc. That said, doesn’t marriage simultaneously seem like an outdated relationship model? I mean, legally, one can either be married or single (or perhaps widowed or divorced, which are just other words for being single but previously married), with no in between. Divorce rates are sky high. Isn’t it time for a new approach to marriage or other forms long-term committed relationships as recognized by government and law? Either way, it’s seems kind of creepy to me that there isn’t room for an in-between in a country that supposedly values Freedom to the extent that the U.S. claims it does. …But I digress.

Steve was previously married for something like eleven years. Their divorce process was very long, I believe going on six years to get everything settled and finalized… yikes! Since marrying again has the inherent possibility of divorce tied in with it, I can understand his reluctance or hesitation to want to avoid another potential divorce.

So, for the past eight years, I’ve been spending my time between Canada, visiting Steve in the US, and occasional travel to Europe. And honestly, I’ve been finding it rather difficult to focus on creative projects while being on the move so often.

It’s also for this reason that when Steve decides he’s going to have some downtime before diving into a big project and says that he would like to spend quality time with me, I’m not particularly inclined to say, “Sorry hon — I’ve just committed myself to an intense week of creative writing time while I try to hash out a full length screenplay in a week (or less).” I value the time we get to spend together since we have to spend a huge chunk of each year apart.

Anyway, with the recent down time and a short road trip behind us, we’re now both ready to focus on our own respective projects before I leave the U.S. again for a little while. And so, I’m taking up my original challenge to write a full-length screenplay in a week or less, starting tomorrow (Monday, February19, 2018) …TBD. (<— More on this re-dating later! …Oh, Life!!!) 🙂 In terms of fostering good creative and writing habits that yield flow and focus, I really need to figure things out there. I feel like I’ve been floundering for the better part of these last 8 (if not more) years of my life, and I think a big part of that has to do with my difficulty to focus on in-depth, long-term projects when I’m moving all the time and so focused on making sacrifices for the present-moment enjoyment of relationships and life. It’s definitely a balancing act, and I’ve been sucking at it. I really need to find a way to balance these things — these various aspects of one’s life… love, work, vision, and art — more harmoniously. I want to devote a big part of this year to figuring that all out. I hope you’ll join me on my journey and hopefully we can figure out a number of things together. <3 But first, let’s write a screenplay… shall we? 😉 p.s. Consequently, in order to narrow my focus and avoid diluting my creative will power and energy, I’ve decided that my impending video/vlog challenge will be put on hold until once I’ve completed this 1st draft of my screenplay. 🙂