Category Archives: Creativity and Courage

A Year In The Life of Me

earth and sunIt’ll be my birthday in a couple weeks. I’ll soon be labeled to exist on that cusp between mid and late thirties.

There’s a lot of prejudice that comes with age. For teens, the prejudice is that you’re reckless, possibly stupid (at least to some degree), stubborn, rebellious, and anti-authoritarian. When you’re in your twenties, the general prejudice says that you’re inexperienced but learning and exploring (and therefore gaining new experiences), and that you’re also probably foolish due to this lack of experience. We tend to prejudge those in their thirties as being in a stage of settling down, pursuing a more grounded and practical life while investing in contribution towards one’s community, finding a long-term relationship partner, getting married (if you haven’t already done so in your twenties), having and raising children, etc. During one’s forties, one focuses on career, family, financial security, and the accumulation of various assets, all of which may spill over into one’s fifties as well. And then, before you know it, it’s time to wrap up your career-life and retire, finally giving yourself time and permission to pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do, like travel and write and who knows what else.

I don’t often like to readily share my age because I tend to defy the prejudice (and expectations) that so often comes along with the number. And although I realize that there may indeed be some amount of truth to the prejudices that are so oft associated with an age, in reality, it is really nothing more than a number announcing that you’ve existed as an individual being (vs that of a parasitic being in the womb) for x revolutions on a planet-rock orbiting around a particular G-type star that we vernacularly call The Sun.

To mark my birthday and the subsequent passage of time, as well as to create some sort of meaning, mission and purpose in my life, I’m considering taking upon an interesting project that I thought up just earlier this week: Chronicling a year in the life of me — from one birthday to the next — in the form of semi-weekly (or at least weekly) memoirs of sorts. I was thinking I would post some or all of these memoirs here to my blog, with the larger possibility of a book to edit and publish at the end of the year-long project. (We shall see. It depends if the over-arching theme of my journaling over the course of the year has any value worthy of becoming a book.)

I’m hoping to discover some elegance and patterns in the chaos that is life, and I’d be delighted if I can create some positive ripples in the world as well.

I suppose I have multiple reasons for doing such a project, but I think my main impetus is simply that of sharing, self-expression, and — hopefully — connection. I’ve realized that I often feel pretty lonely in this world, as I have very few friends with whom I relate to and feel a true bond. I’m guessing this is probably mainly to do with the fact that I simply don’t fall into the prejudices and pigeonholes I’m generally expected to fit into.

I’d like to see if I can perhaps identify and develop valued and deep connections with others if I were to openly write about my thoughts and life while consistently sharing it with the world. I’m really curious to see what kind of an impact such a project might have on my life. I have a feeling that doing so might very well take my life on a whole new path.

…What about you? What sorts of projects or decisions have you implemented that have taken your life to a whole new level? <3


October 18, 2016 — Edit to add:  I haven’t kept up with this idea of chronicling a year in the life of me (surprise surprise), yet it’s still an idea I feel has some merit and it still seems like something I’d like to do. As such, I may take upon a different (yet in some ways similar) daily chronicling project starting sometime in the near future… Perhaps beginning January 1st, 2017! Stay tuned! 

The Baby / Human Project: The Connection Between “You” & “you”

Human Baby Project - Adult & Baby Rachelle

In the beginning of this year, I wrote a blog post called, “The Baby / Human Project: An Experimental Way To Look At Personal Development“. I won’t reiterate all the details, but in short, I theorized that taking the time to look at my newborn baby picture of myself every day for 30 days — while reflecting on the hopes and dreams I have for that baby/myself — may bring about some kind of transformational shift. …Or something like that.

Go ahead and (re)read the post if you like.

As mentioned in the comments of that post, I never completed the experiment of looking at my baby pic every day for 30 days in January. For the better half of January, I was traveling in Europe and busy being touristy, so I would often just forget — especially at the beginning of my trip where I was dealing with major jet lag.

Then later, in the following months, crazy circumstances led to a carry-on suitcase of my belongings being left behind in a Parisian train station while I was on board a plane flying back to North America. And yep — my baby picture was in that suitcase.

(For the record, I still don’t have that suitcase back in my possession. A kind girl I met in Paris has my suitcase under her wing and she is going to arrange for a friend involved with NATO to ship it back to me, but getting in touch with her to make arrangements on sending it has been sporadic at best. Hopefully I’ll be able to get my things back before the end of the year. My winter coat and boots are in there!)

In any case, I decided to reattempt my initial 30-day Baby / Human Project-Experiment during the month of September. Due to the lack of my physical baby photo on hand, I decided I would use a digital version of the same photo.  (i.e. The photo I had used in the aforementioned blog post.)

What were my results?

First off, I’d like to share that I didn’t lovingly gaze at my baby pic every single day of the 30 days. I’m pretty sure it was more than half of the 30 days, but I lost track of how many days I actually did it. But that’s okay, because shortly into the experiment, I came to realize a valuable lesson.

Earlier this summer, I sublet an apartment in downtown Toronto for a couple months. The person I was subletting from had left most of his furnishings and possessions in the apartment, including various books that I was welcome to read if I so desired. I noticed there were a few books by Esther Hicks amongst his collection, and being curious, I decided to read some of, “Ask and It Is Given“.

Esther Hicks makes a distinction between “You” (capitalized) and “you” (all lowercase). “You” refers to that part of you which existed before you were born, and still exists and is eternally connected to you; it’s essentially who you’ll continue to be after your physical body dies. In contrast, lowercase “you” refers to who you are — your identity and consciousness — while you exist as an incarnated physical being (in this case, human) in this physical plane of existence here on Earth.

I know it sounds full of so much “woo woo”-ness. Being someone who likes to think of herself as logical and rational, I’m not quick to blindly follow New Age spiritual thought. And yet, I often can’t help but wonder if there’s truth to to it, but in such a way that we simply don’t have the knowledge and associated vocabulary as of yet to explain such New Age spiritual concepts in a scientific manner. Believing in the possibility something yet simultaneously not necessarily believing in that same thing seems to fit the definition of paradox. Doesn’t it?

As one of my personal heroes Elizabeth Gilbert put it so aptly in regards to paradox and seemingly mutually contradicting ideas:

“I do believe that it is humanly possible for the human mind to hold two completely opposing ideas as true at the same time. And this is why, for instance, I am capable of being a completely rational, scientific, empirical person who believes in evolution and global warming, and reads The Science Times, and thinks it’s all fascinating; and at the same time, I can keep a place in my mind awake and alive to mystery, magic, and miracle. No problem. I do not see this as a contradiction. I have a big mind — you have a big mind. We can do both of those things at the same time.”

Gilbert sums up so beautifully my own thoughts on various matters regarding pseudo-science / New Age thought and spirituality. I, too, see myself as a very science-driven and logical person, yet at the same time, I can hold a space open to possibility — especially given that we as humans certainly aren’t privy to all the knowledge and the secrets of the universe. Without a doubt, there’s a lot we still don’t know.

I mention all this because it came to my realization that my Baby / Human Project Experiment was very much in alignment with this idea of “You” and “you”.  In fact, I’d say they’re quite analogous.

With my experiment, the “You” in question is who you are as an adult, looking at the picture of “you” as a baby. Both simultaneously exist as the same entity because they share the same source of consciousness. And yet, an adult is very different than a baby; these aspects of the same entity are separated by time, space, experience, wisdom, and knowledge. You could say that both subjects embody the same energy (or soul?) and consciousness/mind, but in different forms or states of kinetic vs potential.

In fusing Abraham and Esther Hicks’ description of “You” and “you” with that of my Baby / Human Project Experiment, I feel that I’ve come to experience and understand Love on a whole new level than I ever have before. It’s such a unique experience to take a step back from your humanity and beam love to yourself as though you’re looking at yourself from a higher perspective.

Human nature dictates a desire to love and be loved in return. This approach to self-love might very well fulfill both aspects this desire. I believe the potential for transformation through self-love is enormous — especially if one remembers to practice Love of Self on a consistent basis. <3

“I have an everyday religion that works for me.
Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
~Lucille Ball